The Anderson Couple

On the first day of fall, when the wind was whistling though the trees, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson decided to recline in their new gigantic black leather chairs and watch some television on their 60 inch plasma screen TV. This couple is nearing their 80’s, yet they don’t look a day over 50, other than the crunched backs, bunions, balding gray hair, and frumpy old skirts and sweater vests. Thanks to some miracle deep wrinkle resistant cream the Anderson couple has the best skin in town.

“Jane, can you get me something to eat,” said Mr. Anderson.

“Get your own food. Oh and while you are up will you get me some canned peas?” Asked Mrs. Anderson.

“Jane there is no more canned peas in the pantry!”

“No peas! What will we eat with our bologna?” Every day the Anderson’s would eat bologna and cheese with canned peas. Because they were so old their stomach couldn’t stand such harsh food, so they ate the same thing every day. Also contributing to their simple diet was the fact that Mr. Anderson is allergic to almost everything on the planet.

“Get in the car Jane,” Mr. Anderson directed his wife.

“Frank do you have my walker. I can’t get past the front door without it!”

“Look by your chair, Jane!”

“Oh yeah, thanks Frank.” As many people honked their horns at the couple, Mr. Anderson crunched lower to the wheel. He needed to keep his concentration on the road because there is always the possibility that he could run off the road, even though he was driving 10 miles under the speed limit and the speed limit was only 20 mph.

While riding in their silver Buick to the grocery store Mrs. Anderson thought… What if we mixed it up and bought something new? Maybe I could try something different. Even though he is allergic to carrots, that doesn’t mean I can’t have them.

Once they pulled into the parking lot, Mr. Anderson dropped his wife and she went to look for the peas. There was only one can left and Mrs. Anderson was almost to it. She wouldn’t let anyone grab it before her.

“Mom I need a can of food for the food drive at school tomorrow,” a little kid said to his mom who was on her Blackberry and carrying her designer purse.

“Huh, oh just grab something; I don’t really care,” the mother said to her kid. Sure enough the little boy took the one and only can of peas left. Mrs. Anderson was destroyed. What would she tell her husband?

“Jane I’m over here. Did you find the peas?”

“No Frank, I’m sorry but there aren’t any left.” Mrs. Anderson went into a deep description on what happened. It turned out Mr. Anderson wasn’t even mad. He went up to a store clerk and asked if there were any other types of peas in the store. It turns out this whole time there were frozen peas that are fresher that canned peas.

After arriving home the Andersons sat back in their chairs and ate their freshly steamed peas. From then on, they always had a stack of bags of peas sitting in their freezer waiting to be eaten.